By Don Corrigan (Satire/Opinion)
With manly tail upright, clenched-claw pumping, Sen. Josh Squirrelly announced his candidacy for U.S. President on Jan. 21 The Missouri Senator kicked off his campaign in front of the White House before a small entourage of pigeons.
Sen. Squirrelly said his opposition to Critical Squirrel Theory (CST) will be front and center in his campaign. He said CST teaches young squirrels to hate their ancestors, hate their homeland, and to hate themselves.
“It is no accident that this campaign begins on National Squirrel Day,” declared Sen. Squirrelly. “Squirrels made this country great. That’s a historical fact. We must call out those who seek to diminish and undermine our proud squirrel heritage.”
Healthy, red-blooded squirrels are under assault from Hollywood elites, a perverted public school system, as well as museums and other “centers of learning,” according to Sen. Squirrelly. He said leftist cultural warriors in the film industry have sought to portray squirrels as thuggish murderers.
“I take particular umbrage at the latest Hollywood trash in production called Squirrelnado,” said the freshman Missouri senator. “The depraved trailer for this movie advises audiences to ‘hold onto their nuts.’
Environmental Echo 